The Bob and Chris Show with Bob
by Howeller
Summary: Jada main writer, Debu and Patty the Shipless Pirate cowriters give you the funnest thing alive! The Bob and Chris Show with Bob! Your laugh, your cry, and you may die from the funny. Make sure you have 911 near by, so you don't laugh yourself dead.


_**Act 1**_

3/31/2006 2:31pm

_**THE VOICE**_

_Bob:_ Do you hear a voice?

_Chris:_ Yes it's the teacher.

_Bob:_ Is it coming from the roof?

_Chris:_ No, it's the teacher.

_Bob:_ The guy must be stuck. _Stands up looking at the roof. _

_Chris:_ No, it's the teacher,** SIT DOWN!**

_Bob:_** I"LL SAVE YOU!** _Runs out of room._

_Chris:_** IT"S THE TEACHER!**

_Everyone else: ""_

_+5 mins later_

_Bob:_ I could not save him cries

_Chris:_ It was the teacher

_Bob:_ The teacher was on the roof?

_Chris:_ The voice was the teacher's

_Bob:_ What voice?

_Chris:_ The voice you heard

_Bob:_ I hear voices?

_Chris:_ Yes

_Bob:_ Is that bad?

_Chris:_ Yes

_Bob:_ o.k. starts singing a random tune

_10 mins later_

_Bob:_ Hey I just relised it was the teacher

_Chris:_ Stupid aren't you

**_Bob:_ YES**

_ Jada the lovely writer of this lovely show:_ This is my first Act of the Show and I hope that they do a play for it. Well this Act turned out great and I'll write another. Ok…I have nothing to say. Did you hear that voice? It is an echo in my head, stop it! It's copying me! Runs into wall and goes to hospital.

_Bob_: She is gone, lets party!

_Chris:_ Shut up!

**Act 2**

4/03/2006 1:47pm

**Math goes Mad!**

**Teacher:** Now class what is 2 + 2?

**Bob: **22.

**Teacher:** No its 4.

**Bob:** no 22.

**Teacher:** why is it 22?

**Bob:** Y is a letter and doesn't 22.

**Teacher:** Not the letter Y the word why.

**Bob:** The word why doesn't 22.

**Teacher**: So how does 2 + 2 22?

**Bob:** 2 next to 2 22.

**Teacher:** but 2+24.

**Bob: **for what.

**Teacher:** the number 4

**Bob:** so 2+2 for 4, so 44.

**Teacher:** **NO! JUST 4!**

**Bob:** Just is a word.

**Teacher:** How old are you?

**Bob:** 12, I think.

**Teacher: **More like 2.

**Bob:** No, I'm 12.

**Teacher:** But you act like your 2.

**Bob:** No, if I were 2 I wouldn't know that 2 + 2 4.

**Teacher:** _dies_

**Bob:** Are you sleeping? _Pokes teacher_

**Chris:** I wish he were in another class.

** Jada the writer of the Bob and Chris…you know what comes after that: I wish I could do math.**

**Chris: I was not in this act!**

**Jada: At the end, so shut up and be happy.**

**Chris: So, it's more like the Bob and Teacher Show with Bob!**

**Jada: Hey, that's I good idea, I love it, who needs you.**

**Chris: What! No it's a bad idea, no you can't replace me!**

**Jada: I'm kidding. Hugs Chris Up next is Act three.**

**Act 3**

4/05/2006 1:47pm

**The car ride to the tree.**

**Chris:** Go left, right?

**Bob: **No left.

**Chris:** My left or your left?

**Bob: **My left.

**Chris: **Your left, right.

**Bob:** Right.

**Chris**: Right.

**Bob:** No left.

**Chris:** Right got it.

**Bob:** No left, you idiot!

_They hit a tree _

**Chris:** Man, I should have gone left, why didn't you say left?

**Bob: **I did.

**Chris:** So I go left?

**Bob:** Yes

**Chris:** Ok, hey look a stop sign.

**Bob:** STOP!!!

_Hits a old man, a guy on a bike, and a cop car _

**Bob:** Chris you can't drive.

**Chris:** Yes a can, see I got…. 29 points for hitting two people and a car.

**Bob:** But we are going to jail.

**Chris:** I won the game.

**Bob:** What game?

**Chris:** The hit any thing you see game, its really fun, my mom plays it.

**Bob:** Is it your mom in the hospital?

**Chris:** Ja.

**Bob:** So she must be really good.

**Chris:** Oh, she is, you want to play again?

**Bob:** Yes, I'll drive.

**Don**, _Don_, Don

** Jada, the author of this lovely story:** And that is how WW I and WW II happened and is why ever one looks both ways before crossing the street. Also don't worry about the tree, old man, and the guy on the bike; they all dead form me, Mahahahahahaha.

Act 4

May 08, 2006, 2:36: PM

**Story Telling is Fun.**

Once there was a little girl by the name of Little Red Riding Hood and she lived...

Chris: Wrong story, this is about the Bob and Chris Show with Bob, not Little Riding Hood!

Bob: What! I like Little Red Hood, I can read it!

Chris: But this is our show, not Little Hood's show!

Bob: Will I like Red Hood and her story about the frog?

Chris: What story about the frog.

Bob: The frog she kissed, who turned into a beanstalk.

Chris: There is no beanstalk in Ridding Little.

Bob: Then the King with the son, who can turn into a Duck and lay golden spoons, went up the beanstalk.

Chris: What a duck, a spoon, and a king, where do you get this stuff?

Bob: When he reaches the top all he finds is a whale.

Chris: A Whale what the...

Bob:Jumps on a chair and does not hear Chris He jumps on the whale and uses it as an airplane.

Chris: Whales can't fly!

Bob: And they fly to a tower were three little pens lived.

Chris: I thought it was pigs.

Bob: The pens gave them a little man named Rumstun.

Chris: What the, Rumstun.

Bob: He gave them a golden thumb and was gone. The thumb started to sing and they all fell asleep never to wake again.

Chris: that was stupid.

Bob: No it was Little hood Red.

Chris: No It was some junk you made up.

Bob: No it was hood little riding.

And they all sat down and eat out of Little Red Riding Hood's bag, and never saw the wolf again. The End.

Bob; What its over, what was the story about.

Chris: You told me you knew it.

Bob; Knew what?

Chris: Little Ridding Red.

bob: Who's that.

Chris: Never mind.

Little Red Riding Hood: My name is Little Red Riding Hood, L-it-tle R-ed R-i-d-ing Ho-od. Or Sue.

Bob: Oh, So Sue who gave you that name?

Sue: Joe mamma

Bob: Joe oh, I'll go find him. leaves and falls to his death, ok I'm dreaming he gets lost ands makes Chris go find him, so there will be more Acts.

Jada: I'm back, I was so hoping that Bob died, he is on my hit list.

Bob: You want to kill me!

Jada: Yes, um I mean no, I love you…joking, you are not going to die…yet.

Bob: Yet!

Jada: Ya, Oh come on I'm kidding.

Patty the Shippless Pirate: You are?!?

Jada: Shh no.

Patty the Shippless Pirate: O.k.

Act 5

May 09, 2006, 2:53 PM

**Songs was never this bad. **

Bob: If ever if ever a wiz there was! We're off to see the wizard of Oz.

Chris: The wizard of Oz?

Bob: The wonderful wizard of Oz.

Chris: Why?

Bob: Because of the wonderful things he does.

Chris: And where does he live?

Bob: In the wonderful Land of Oz.

Chris: Where is it?

Bob: In the closet of my father's room.

Chris: In a closet?

Bob: Ja, in my closet is the land of Nanreia.

Chris: Ok have you been hit in the head?

Bob: When I was three and a half.

Chris: No wonder you can't think.

Bob: Think, want is think?

Chris: O brother.

Bob: you have a brother?

Chris: No.

Bob: I have one, he lives far away.

Chris: In Oz.

Bob: Hey, Have you seen the wizard

Chris: A wizard of what?

Bob: The wonderful wizard of Oz.

Chris: Why?

Jada: Here we go again, got any popcorn or soda? Oh, I have a co-writer who is writing Act 6! It's Debu!

Debu: Thank you, Thank you.

Jada: Nice to have you on the show.

Debu: Nice to be on the show.

Patty: I'm another co-writer, right?

Jada: No.

Debu: Meow.

Patty: crys

Jada and Debu: Here is Act 6!

Act 6: Tom and Jerry's Adventure with Aliens

Teacher: There was a crash. Two people went to go investigate

Bob: I thought Tom and Jerry were a cat and a mouse!

Teacher: Yes. The cartoon characters Tom and Jerry are animals. This Tom and Jerry weren't. They are humans.

The taller one said, "Do you know what would be really funny right now? If a kamikaze watermelon just appeared."

Then there was this trumpet sound followed by what sounded like someone yelling, "WEEEE!!" Then it happened. The taller guy's head was hit by a kamikaze watermelon. The shorter guy was in complete shock and amazement. The taller guy was rushed to a hospital in an ambulance that came out of nowhere.

Meanwhile, the shorter guy, Jerry, (who was next to the taller guy, Tom) was now running towards the hospital, after the ambulance that abducted Tom. They were friends since they were little kids and Jerry didn't want Jerry to be all alone. Sad isn't it? You would think they would go insane from always being near each other. Maybe they were. Who knows?

Well it turns out that the ambulance wasn't an ambulance.

Bob: WHAT? THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENCE! HOW CAN SOMETHING BE WHAT IT'S NOT?!?!

Teacher: Well... It was an UFO disguised as an ambulance. Better now?

Anyways…Tom was going to be used in a test experiment like a guinea pig. But he was fighting as best as he could with a watermelon on his head where he couldn't see.

Bob: Why didn't he just take it off?

Teacher: It was hot glued. Don't ask how. I don't want to go into details.

So the weird aliens were defeated by something even weirder -some crazy kid that got a watermelon somehow hot glued to his head. And Jerry parachuted out of a window of the UFO ambulance.

Jerry was running when a 150-pound Tom fell out of the sky and onto his head.

Bob: Wouldn't that hurt? I mean really! 150 pounds? On his head?

Teacher: Yes. It did hurt Jerry…really bad. Just listen to the story!!!

So Tom and Jerry had to find a hospital to get their heads checked.

Bob: I would hope so. They seem kind of crazy

Teacher: Yes. They are crazy. Have you ever met someone who was named after famous cartoon characters who _wasn't _crazy?

Bob: Good point.

Teacher: Exactly.

Well…neither of them could see so it was extremely hard to even find a hospital none the less get help.

Bob: Did they find one? Did they get help?

Teacher: GEEZ!! Don't you _ever_ stop asking questions? Yes, they found a hospital. No, they did not get help. Tom tried to rip the watermelon off his face, and in the process, ripped his own face off. Jerry, unable to anything without help, just died of starvation the next month.

Bob: A whole month without food? Didn't he get hungry?

Teacher: YES!! HE _STARVED DIDN'T HE?_

Bob: Oh. Okay. Um…what was this story about?

Teacher: DO YOU THINK I KNOW? I HAD TO KEEP ANSWERING YOUR STUPID QUESTIONS THIS WHOLE DAY!!!

Jada: I'm so happy to have my co-writer helping me, thanks Debu.

Debu: Meow.

Jada: Meow?

Debu: Meow.

Patty the Shippless Pirate: What the… Meow?

Debu: Meow.

Jada: O.k……Patty you want to go get something to eat?

Patty: O.k.

Debu: Meow.

Act 7

The Biggest Fan

Patty the Pirate: Hi I'm Patty the Pirate. Jada is a little tied up now chuckles mischeviously. so I will be writing the next Bob and Chris Show with Bob. It all started with a police siren.

Bob: I think they want you to pull over Chris.

Chris: NO when you hear a police siren, it means speed up and run into the nearest lamp post. It's a new law.

Bob: Okay

Chris: Here's a lamp post now!

BOOM

Bob: How many points did you get for that?

Chris: I think it was only 10.

Bob: Only 10! THat wasn't worth it.

Police man walks up to the car

Police: I'm going to have to give you a ticket. You were going way to fast and you didn't hit the nearest lamp post! You have to hit the closest one otherwise it doesn't count.

Chris: Does that mean I don't geyt the 10 points.

Police: NO they automatically go to Shipo. Don't ask why. I don't know. Can I see you driveres license. Chris shows him the liscense Your Chris??!!! from the bob and Chris Show with Bob??!!!

Chris: Yes...

Police: I'm your biggest fan. I love the Bob adn Chris Show wiht Bob! Can I get your autograph. Bob and Chris sign the ticket for the police OMG! THnks. I can't believe...

Police man has a heart attack and dies

Bob: lets get in his car since he made us total ours.

Chris: Okay...

(During the rest of teh day, they kill 43.5 people and 7 squirrels)

Patty: The end! Oh... If anyone asks I don't know where Jada is wink


End file.
